~
My 13 Work Rules ~
1.
Never give me work in the morning.
Always
wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.
The
challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
|
2.
If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to
inquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise
me
at every
keystroke. |
| 3.
Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance
to be creative when someone asks where you are. |
4.
If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the
door for me. I need to
learn
how to function as a paraplegic and opening
doors
with no arms is good training in case I should
ever
be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
|
5.
If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret.
If that
gets out, it could mean a promotion. |
|
6.
Do your best to keep me late.
I
adore this office and really have nowhere to go
or anything
to do. I have no life beyond work. |
7.
If you give me more than one job to do,
don't
tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
|
8.
If you don't like my work, tell everyone.
I
like my name to be popular in conversations.
I was born
to be whipped. |
| 9.
If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact,
save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful
information. |
10.
Never introduce me to the people you're with.
I
have no right to know anything.
In
the corporate food chain, I am plankton.
When
you refer to them later, my shrewd
deductions
will identify them.
| 11.
Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your
life and send you straight to manager's hell. |
|
12.
Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to
know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having
to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for
being such
a good manager. |
13. Wait
until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been.
Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm
not here for the money anyway.
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