Girlfriends

As the year comes to a close
I just wanted to take a moment
to review our year together and
say "Happy Holidays!"
to my girlfriends.

In January

you helped me chase the cold away with some laughs over a glass of wine

(and some girl talk about the obvious whore across the room whose ass was way to big for the tight skirt she had on).

In February

we watched the snow fall from the heavens

(and hired a beautiful charismatic hooker to go out with him, show him a wonderful time, promise to be in touch, and then NEVER call!)

In March

we enjoyed the beginnings of fair weather and gracefully flew a kite in the early spring breeze

(then went home and called his wife. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is this the maid? He said to hang up if the maid answered.")

In April

we watched the flowers begin to bloom

(and pulled them up from that perky-blond-former-cheerleader-bitch's yard across the street).

In May

we welcomed the summer

(and I forgave you for sending me on a date with him, although he was a real gentleman… he ordered for me, let me jumbo size the fries, and carried my tray).

In June

we did the beach house thing

(and you assured me that it didn't count. "Of course it doesn't count. We're at the beach.")

In July

we watched the fireworks

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(and set off stink bombs in front of that perky-blond-former-cheerleader-bitch's house).

In August

we sweltered in the heat

(and you helped me pick out the best spot at the pool for viewing the hunky lifeguard).

In September

we wished summer farewell and watched the kids go back to school

(and finally stopped calling him at 3 am – even if it was only because he changed his number).

In October

we enjoyed the changing leaves and turned the clocks back

(and Halloween night we TP'd that perky-blond-former-cheerleader-bitch's house.)

In November

we watched the leaves fall and ate all the Thanksgiving Turkey we could stand

(and you covered for me when the police came. "Honest, officer. She was here with me when his Mercedes caught fire.")

In December

you gave me a copy of Girlfriends by Patrick Sanchez, a story about three girlfriends and their unending friendship

(as well as a tale of three catty bitches who bar hop, bed hop, and come together to even the score!).

Happy Holidays to My Girlfriends!

Hope 2008 Is the Best Year Yet!

SPONSORED BY GIRLFRIENDS,
A NOVEL BY PATRICK SANCHEZ

IN BOOKSTORES NOW!

A GREAT GIFT FOR YOUR GIRLFRIENDS