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Girlfriends

Pass this message on to all your Girlfriends
…if you get this twice, then you have more than one girlfriend.
Be happy!

As the year comes to a close
I just wanted to take a moment
to review our year together and
say "Happy Holidays!"
to my girlfriends.

In January

you helped me chase the cold away with some laughs over a glass of wine

January

(and some girl talk about the obvious whore across the room whose ass was way to big for the tight skirt she had on).

In February

we watched the snow fall from the heavens

February

(and hired a beautiful charismatic hooker to go out with him, show him a wonderful time, promise to be in touch, and then NEVER call!)

In March

we enjoyed the beginnings of fair weather and gracefully flew a kite in the early spring breeze

March

(then went home and called his wife. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is this the maid? He said to hang up if the maid answered.")

Pink Phone

In April

we watched the flowers begin to bloom

April

(and pulled them up from that perky-blond-former-cheerleader-bitch's yard across the street).

In May

we welcomed the summer

May

(and I forgave you for sending me on a date with him, although he was a real gentleman… he ordered for me, let me jumbo size the fries, and carried my tray).

In June

we did the beach house thing

June

(and you assured me that it didn't count. "Of course it doesn't count. We're at the beach.")

In July

we watched the fireworks

FireworksFireworksFireworks
FireworksFireworksFireworks

(and set off stink bombs in front of that perky-blond-former-cheerleader-bitch's house).

In August

we sweltered in the heat

SunSunSunSunSun
SunbathingSunbathingSunbathing

(and you helped me pick out the best spot at the pool for viewing the hunky lifeguard).

In September

we wished summer farewell and watched the kids go back to school

September

(and finally stopped calling him at 3 am – even if it was only because he changed his number).

In October

we enjoyed the changing leaves and turned the clocks back

October

(and Halloween night we TP'd that perky-blond-former-cheerleader-bitch's house.)

In November

we watched the leaves fall and ate all the Thanksgiving Turkey we could stand

Falling LeafTurkey GirlTurkey GirlTurkey GirlFalling Leaf

(and you covered for me when the police came. "Honest, officer. She was here with me when his Mercedes caught fire.")

In December

you gave me a copy of Girlfriends by Patrick Sanchez, a story about three girlfriends and their unending friendship

Girlfriends

(as well as a tale of three catty bitches who bar hop, bed hop, and come together to even the score!).

Happy Holidays to My Girlfriends!

Hope 2016 Is the Best Year Yet!

SPONSORED BY GIRLFRIENDS,
A NOVEL BY PATRICK SANCHEZ

IN BOOKSTORES NOW!

A GREAT GIFT FOR YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

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