 
Never a silent
night when you're
among your Jewish
loved ones!
 
Eight days of
presents.
If someone screws
up on their gift,
there are seven
more days to correct it!
 
Betting Hanukkah
gelt (the chocholate coins)
on candle races.
  
You can use your
fireplace.
 
Naked spin-the-dreidel
games.
 
Fun waxy buildup
on the menorah.
 
No awkward explanations
of virgin birth.
Cheer optional.
 
There's no "Kathy
Lee Gifford Special".
 
There's no latke-nog.
 
You won't see,
"You're a Putz, Charlie Brown."
 
No barking dog
version of "I had a Little Driedl."
No pine needles
to vacuum up afterwards.
 
Latkes are cheaper to
mail than fruitcakes.
 
and...
No roof damage from
reindeers! (or moose)
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