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Winter
is here and Skiing Season has begun!
Here are some useful
tips
on preparing for the
season.
Have Fun!
Visit your local
butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards,
burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
Soak your gloves
and store them
in the freezer
after every use.
Throw away a hundred
dollar bill--right
now.
Find the nearest
ice rink and walk across
the ice 20 times
in your ski boots carrying
two pairs of skies,
accessory bag and poles.
Pretend you are
looking for your car.
Sporadically drop
things.
Place a small
but angular pebble in your shoes,
line them with
crushed ice, andthen tighten
a C-clamp around
your toes.
Buy a new pair
of very expensive gloves and immediatelythrow one away.
Secure one of
your ankles to a bed post
and ask a friend
to run into you at high speed.
Go to McDonald's
and insist on
paying $8.50 for
a hamburger.
Be sure you are
in the longest line.
Clip a lift ticket
to the zipper of your jacket
and ride a motorcycle
fast enough to
make the ticket
lacerate your face.
Dress up in as
many clothes as you can
and then proceed
to take them off
because you have
to go to the bathroom.
Slam your thumb in a car
door.
Don't go see a doctor.
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